Ok ya'll - this has been a very interesting thread. I must admit that all the Mom talk positively "skeeved" me out. My H had a very neglectful, semi-depressed and negative Mom. His reaction to that seems to be to place me on some kind of pedestal of "ideal Mom" (he hates it when I fall off) but he doesn't tolerate me "mothering" him in any way. That being said, I struggled mightily with being placed in the Mom role by my x (he had a narcisstic Mom and really needed someone to re-Mother him). Being the "super-coper" in a marriage seems to just kill the other person's committment to their own "becoming." OTOH - the "super-coper" gets to avoid their own stuff pretty handily. MJ - this role you play in the marriage is totally counter to your goal of sharing your "essential womaness." Do you journal other than here? This would be a great topic for journaling. Where does the natural nurturing instinct of being a woman start and stop and the over-compensating Mothering begin?
Yes - your contract is perfectly reasonable. However, I would wager that it would make no sense to your H except as a yardstick that he could measure his failure against. Therefore, he either won't do a dang thing or he will rebel against it - "I would except your shoes are ugly".
MJ, you are a very remarkable woman and this latest series of posts resonated with me in a way that many of your others have not. Perhaps it is because I am operating at a very primal level myself (8 weeks until this baby is due, I am the very picture of a fertility symbol). Regardless, I strongly identified with your descriptions of your girlhood sexuality. I was physically a late bloomer (not enough body fat to tip the scales of puberty) but I can hardly remember a time when I didn't mb, search the homes I babysat in for porn etc... I wasn't promiscuous by any stretch but it wasn't because I wasn't feelin' it if you know what I mean.
I guess I can sum up my feelings about your recent posts by saying - be "you".
