Woman: "In order to want to have sex with you, I need for our relationship to be strong." Man: "I need to have sex with you in order for our relationship to be strong."
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Think about those two statements in the context of dating.
Okay. [thinking].
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The woman's statement now sounds reasonable, while the man's does not.
Agreed.
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If that pair of statements is a truism,
Wait! A truism (obvious truth, a self-evident truth, etc.) in the context of a dating relationship, yes. In the context of marriage? I don't think it is so obvious. Not that it was an "expectation" that we'd have a reasonably decent (in frequency and quality) sex life after marriage, but that we wouldn't have to go through a constantly changing set of labors in which we prove how committed we are to the woman before she would agree to make love with us. No, they should have figured out we were damn well committed to the relationship when we asked them to marry us, and certainly when we said "I do." Don't you think they should have figured out that we BELIEVE in the relationship as we fathered children? As we signed deeds to houses with them? As we talked about where we wanted to retire with them?
How STRONG must the relationship be, Barbie? Or is it that I have to constantly reassure you to calm your own self-esteem issues? Or is it just another lame excuse not to ML with us, a la, "I have a headache" "too tired" "mad at you for watching the game instead of going shopping with me" etc.?
Sorry, chrom, but it's a logical error there, assigning "truism" to the statements, just because they are reasonable in one forum. Marriage, and the commitment required to enter into it, should come with the assumption that the relationship is strong.
Yeah, I could see the first statement, in a dating context, as being a challenge. However, since my W and I had sex on what was basically our second date, it was a fairly short-lived challenge.
Hairdog, who adds the caveat, "but of course this is all water under the bridge given my recent re-assertion of my manly irresistible-ness and my 'let bygones be bygones' philosophy"
