While I am currently wallowing in the pit just like you, I am "storing up my energy" for a leap out of the pit sometime soon. Of course, our pits are a bit different in character.
Quote:
Woman: "In order to want to have sex with you, I need for our relationship to be strong." Man: "I need to have sex with you in order for our relationship to be strong."
Think about those two statements in the context of dating. The woman's statement now sounds reasonable, while the man's does not. If that pair of statements is a truism, how is that men and women are able to get past the dating stage? Or could it be that to break out of our funks we need to treat our wives like we are dating them, when we had the strength to forge a good R from nothing without sex being necessary? Let me put it another way, if I were dating and a woman said that first statement to me, I would see it as a challenge. Why is it in my M I see it as a repudiation?
Choc, I think one of our problems also is that if my W was instead a GF that I was dating, and she acted the way she is right now (well, let's move back to the way she was acting just prior to my A so that we don't muddy this issue with that complication that is uniquely mine) I wouldn't want to continue dating her. But the question that then nags at my mind is "what if she is acting this way only because of the way I am acting?" I do think very strongly that I ignored warning signs when I was dating my wife due to my low self-esteem and thoughts that this was my only chance. However, I also wonder if maybe I was acting differently in some subtle way, which prodded her to act differently in some subtle way, so that things really were somewhat better back then. KWIM?
Chrome
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
