Okay. I'm sorry, Lillie. Here's what BF posted about it, over on choc's thread:
Quote:
about discerning rejection from hesitancy...
rejection is a personal right. Its never about you. Its about them. Its about how they feel. Allways acknowledge a personal right.
Hesitancy is simply because a woman needs several things. She needs to know you are sure. She is receptive, not instigating (although when they are hot for you it seems like it, because most are not aware of what is instigating)and her hesitancy allows her to be receptive. Its a test. Do you personalize ('you never want to have sex with me, you dont love me' [pout], who kicked the dog again...), or do you 'know'? She needs to know she is safe. If you become --insert negative emotion here -->(irritated,hurt,pout,angry) she is not safe enough to expose herself to you. You lose.
is any of this reading going to assist you with changing your actions? What will? Find your confidance inside you. Remember what caused it in the past and instigate it in yourself. Its your job.
On that note about becoming irritated, hurt, pout, angry; mea culpaThis is one of the things she points at when she says that she doesn't feel "safe" enough. Hearing it from you, BF, gives it more validity. However, the fact that I was irritated or pouting or depressed or whatever, after the nth time she said "no", and not the previous x times, gets lost in the fray.
Which is why I just need to let all that sh!t go, and concentrate on being the irresistible, unflappable, coolest stud on earth that I can be. Because all that baggage and resentment just plain cramps my style.
