Thanks, Jen. It's funny, but I've been doing all sorts of things to my living room. It hasn't consciously been about H, but maybe subconsciously? I bought these deep purple shimmery curtains and have hung a curtain rod BY MYSELF (I had to use a drill...I felt like such a MAN!) that look AMAZING. It's really out of the box, but I had a hunch they'd look great it here.
We have MC tonight. Not sure what I'll say or what will come out of it. Don't know how to articulate how I'm feeling. I love H, but I need space to figure things out. I need him to do some work too, giving me space and not getting his knickers in a knot about things. *I* listen when I'm dead on my feet, so I want the same.
Blah. Blah blah blah. I hate this part. DBing was EASIER when H was an ALIEN!!!!!!!!!!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
Take care of you, girl. Do something nice for you. And take the space you need. You deserve that. It isn't easy and you are doing a fabulous job. Put you first a little here.
MC last night went well...MC explained to H that my feelings were NORMAL b/c we'd been dealing with his issues for so long. H has been AWESOME. Patient, trying to understand, listening and validating....
And tonight, I decided to go out instead of waiting around for H to come home from work. Met people I didn't know very well for happy hour; glad I did! I had a great time, and it helped put my focus back on me. I had a fabulous time!
And guess what? H didn't crumble. I just need to keep doing these things for me, just like H does for himself. It's good for US.
BTW, my "friend" from this summer has all of a sudden been TM and emailing a lot after asserting we shouldn't really hang out of respect for H. It's nice to be wanted, LOL!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
And tonight, I decided to go out instead of waiting around for H to come home from work. Met people I didn't know very well for happy hour; glad I did! I had a great time, and it helped put my focus back on me. I had a fabulous time!
Now THIS is you, SD. Not letting H's moods dictate yours, not depending on H for your happiness cos you know you have the resources within yourself. You are back at the place where having H in your life is a WANT, not a NEED and doesn't it feel good!?? Stopping the worry about H (or W)'s feelings/needs/wants and trusting them to ask you if they need something... that is what it's all about. I for one can't stay married to someone whose needs I always have to guess, so I've stopped guessing and started trusting H to come to me if he needs to. A bigger step to put into practise than it sounds, but you're getting there (oh, and so am I!!)
Woo YAY SD!!! Can I have your life cos it sounds FUN!!!
Bomb (ILYBINILWY, don't want to be married)Sept05 Seperated Sept/Oct 05 Oct 06 - H recomitted July 11 - I am now a WAW.
BTW, my "friend" from this summer has all of a sudden been TM and emailing a lot after asserting we shouldn't really hang out of respect for H. It's nice to be wanted, LOL!
ahhhh... sweeeeeet! So nice to be wanted... and we all know that PMA is sexy!!! Take care and have a great weekend!!
I met some women from work and other people for a book club tonight. We had coffee, chatted, and really just had a good time discussing our book. It was the first time we've met, and we're looking forward to doing it again next month.
It was just nice being in the company of women without the menfolks around...nice to be doing something I really love to do! I need more things like this in my life...time to start looking again!
SD
Me: 40 H: 43 H had EA from 2/06-9/06 Bomb 5/06 Piecing since 9/2006 3/2008: Boundary setting 7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb. 8/2010: Marriage finally on track!
