and maybe I classified all "hesitancy" as "rejection" in my marriage, I don't know

Yes Im certain that you do, from a time you related your wifes description of you a long time ago.

Fran has it. Hd doesnt, though it was because of my literary skills.
Burgbud has it. Though discerning ...No(hehe) from NO is important to. see your thread choco.