Excellent. Have you been reading some sex manuals that I don't yet have in my library.-LOL.
I don't think so... LOL!!!
Quote:
This brought to mind the time that my H told me that I was "blocking his manly desire". I wasn't telling him what to do but I was asking him to tell me what to do. I was actually saying "What do you want me to do now?" in a teasing voice. So maybe I was telling him to tell me? I'm really beginning to doubt my sexual communication skills.
I guess I could see that approach, most especially with your H, as a tad bit aggressive... and for him to respond to you... would require him to be way more vulnerable than I think he is willing to be.
One of the things I have been learning, which has been incredibly difficult for me... is this whole vulnerability stuff. I've been in sitches with my bf where I have felt so humbled and humiliated (not from anything HE does to me, but just in giving up control of my own body to another... whew). And I go to sleep thinking, 'how in the heck am I ever going to be able to look him in the eye come tomorrow?' But then... tomorrow comes, and the emotional closeness I find there is so astounding to me that I get over myself. And I think... 'huh, I must be onto something here.' The more I do it, the more 'humbling' experiences I have, the less afraid I become of them.... for me, I always have to stay just outside my own comfort zone... when I don't... I start to feel pissy and resentful, and the sex isn't so great, at least emotionally.
Being secure sexually doesn't mean that one is secure with vulnerability. I don't see you being vulnerable with your H, but OTOH, I'm not so sure that he'd be comfortable with it, either. Maybe Blackfoot can comment on this.
