I will choose love and compassion rather than bitterness and resentment. From my perspective, at the root of why he won't try with me is fear, and perhaps stubborn false pride as well
I think this is a good choice no matter what you ultimately decide you want to do. You're right that he is in a lot of pain. If you can see and validate that, it will be a gidt to him and yourself.
There's new book out (I just got it yesterday, so I'm not far into it yet), titled "How to improve your marriage without talking about it" by Patricia Love and Steven Stosny. It talks about how men operate out of shame and women out of fear (no generalities of course). It's just more info, but I find comfort in that. Protecting yourself and your kids is your first priority and I'm happy to hear you're doing that. As far as black humor, I've always been pretty twisted, so now....you can only imagine. Post here lots and let us listen and help where we can,
