Her father is a tough, domineering, masculine man. That is the model she learned as a child and that is what she is comfortable with. What she wants is this type of man, but in a caring, empathic version, what she wishes her dad would be. What she is NOT comfortable with is a compliant, supplicating man.
Absolutely right on.
if we can be sufficient to ourselves, we need fear no entangling webs Erica Jong
What she is NOT comfortable with is a compliant, supplicating man.
Ive seen lots of women comfortable with men like that, Ive just never seen one that wanted to have his babies. never mind me cobra, just nitpicking, that was good.
Thank you for your insightful posts, Cobra. A couple tweaks, here and there, just for the sake of clarification. She represents both men and women in her practice. She is pretty good at representing both genders, and is just as quick to notice the flaws the woman/wife/mother brings to the table as she is the man/husband/father.
We stopped going to joint counseling because we had basically gotten just about all the benefits SHE wanted, but had reached an impasse on mine. That wasn't the stated reason...it was more couched in terms of the need for each of us to work on ourselves, but, in retrospect, that's why we stopped.
Frankly, I'm not ready to rush back to MC. I want to continue with what I'm doing now, and see where it leads. So far, I'm liking the direction we're headed. Last night, I was getting DD5 out of the tub and W told me something obvious, (I can't remember what it was, exactly, but something like, 'don't forget to brush her hair.'). Normally, I might react to a statement like this with some sort of defensive reply which would imply something like "I know you think I'm stupid, but I'm not THAT stupid." Instead, I just gave her a humorous, confident look that, for all intents and purposes conveyed, "Well gosh, thanks for the advice, Einstein." Must've worked, because, on my way out the door to drive DS15 to his drum lesson, I kissed DD5 good night, turned around, and W gave me a hard kiss good bye. Hope springs.
Understand this one point very clearly Hairdog. Her father is a tough, domineering, masculine man. That is the model she learned as a child and that is what she is comfortable with. What she wants is this type of man, but in a caring, empathic version, what she wishes her dad would be.
And women wonder why men are confused. They want the strength of John Wayne, with the empathy of Phil Donahue. Sheesh.
never mind me cobra, just nitpicking, that was good.
