I'm picking a fight that I want to lose just like I'd be committing a transgression for which I wanted to get "punished" if I was playing "naughty". So I am expecting the man to be as much in touch with his "top"

Ever pick a fight that you wanted to lose? If you havent then youll never understand a girls sex drive. You dont have to understand it.

Just dont lose.
It sure is tiresome though. Who wants to beat down the person they care about. And what person in their right mind went into a fight with the intention of not hurting the other one.
Every good conqueror thats who.
Whatever you wreck you have to fix. Thats expensive and time consuming.