H made the comment "You aren't much of a counselor." which gave me the opportunity to say in really a very kind manner "I'm not your counselor. I'm your wife."
Do you happen to remember the tv show, "Chico and the Man"? Freddy Prinze played the Puerto Rican auto mechanic to Jack Albertson's Jewish auto shop owner. Sometimes, when the boss would ask Chico to do something particularly unpleasant, he'd reply, "It's not my job, man." Except, of course, Prinze would deadpan it and lay on that great Chicano accent and it came out sounding like, "Ees not my chob, man."
I like that you told him "ees not my chob, man." And I like, especially, that you told him "I would appreciate it if you would do a better job taking care of yourself so that you could do a better job meeting my needs/wants as your wife." This is very schnarchy of you.
Fran is right. Don't help him out of that tree. Don't avoid the evening sales because you fear him starving, or fear his confrontation with you upon your return. He needs you in a lot of different ways, but I think the most important one is what Fran said in her post, "they really need someone who trusts them to climb out of the tree on their own."
