Again my H is exactly the same way he has broken every agreement we have ever made that requires him to step up to the plate in some way
I dont believe this. In fact, I know its not true from what you have told us.
The reason my kids make their way out of the tree fine is not because I ignore them. It is because I convey my firm belief that they CAN do it - so they do. I have been shifting my attitude of late to my H, I got past the enabling stage a while back, and then I went into indifferent mode, but now I working on being in firm belief mode and that seems to be working better.
Mojo
The low point of the convo IMO was when he said "You know nobody is going to give you a medal for staying with me.". Its not a low point its an opportunity. Mojo: yes they will. My kids give me a medal for it everyday, and I give myself a medal. You get a big red 'F' for being nice though. Im going to buy myself something pretty, and Im Not doing the dishes. Bye.
I'm really not quite as fixated on the weight issue as it might seem I just use it as an example because it is so concrete compared to other issues. I believe you. It is easy with the concrete stuff. 'Oh you want me to make more money. Ok. done' ' Oh you want me to spend more time with you. Ok. done' 'Oh you want to to stop being mean. Ok done'
'Oh you want me to act like a man.... Um. (head scratch) uh ... but look, I did all that other stuff you wanted... '
