Hi Everyone, been a bit. Lou the C that WE'RE seeing is a manipulative creature. Either that or we're damn lucky and he's just a jerk but its working. I'm talking about connecting, intimacy while my back is washed and he says, "What did you want? He (H assumed) washed your back! What do you want?" Me, "Connection, togetherness, a shared moment!" C, "He is connecting. He did what you wanted!" Me, "yea, I moved closer and he stopped. Maybe we are connecting!" C, "Yea, you scared him off."

Now I happen to think that if H got anyking of reaction/signal he did run. But, something in that exchange did something to H. Tell him he was being babyish or something. Cuz H has stepped up to the plate some and is not nearly as "you're picking on me!" "can't I do anything right?" and working with things better than in 10 years. (No, no congratulations in the ultimate embrace department are warrented, but a day-to-day kindness and warmth that hasn't been around for a LONG time.

So, the C says I'm scarring him off resulting in him staying around and yet I do nothin different, cept take the "cut". Yet he didn't say the C was picking on him/slamming him for being a baby. Yet I have called him on his sensitivity and not responding so often...Who's to say what will turn on the light?!

Pity me that the heart is slow to learn What the swift mind beholds at every turn. Edna St. Vincent Millay