I certainly hope that I never disappoint you. You're a tough bird too. I think that, like me, you've been through your share of battles and have always had the strength to pull yourself up again. I can hear it in you writing.
I didn't just read what these men on here had to say and just dismiss it outright. I'm not angry, I am not envious of my wife's career, I have never not been a man--these are assumptions that were made. I have no reason to lie about or try to hide my feelings. Hell, I wish these assumptions were correct--everything would be on me to fix and my wife and I could live happily ever after, problem solved. We are not fairy tale characters in a fairy tale marriage. I cannot fix all of our issues on my own. Anyone here can accuse me of "placating" now. The reality of the situation is that if my wife or mysaelf decides to leave the marriage tomorrow, there is nothing that the other spouse can do to stop that. That's not me talking, that's the divorce laws of my home state talking. So, marriage is not something that you're obligated to be in; it's something that you want to be in. My wife is making no effort to show me that she wants to be in our marriage. Am I to make ALL of the effort to save my marriage? Am I to jump through the hoops to please her, to win her back? If this is what I'm missing in all of this, please tell me. I am sincere; I am not being a smart***.
You're right, I do have hard and fast rules about marriage. I hope that everyone has rules about their relationships, any kind of relatioships. Behavior, you can't control someones behavior, you know that. But yes, there are behaviors that we expect in all forms of interaction. I'm no different. I am expected to behave, and I expect my spouse, son, coworkers, or anyone else that I come into contact with to behave in a certain way.
Yes, we went to marriage counseling seperately twice. After the second time that we went my wife told me that marriage counseling would not change her feelings towards me. She would only go to see the marriage counselor again as a moderator to divide our assets. I have not gone back to the counselor; I really don't see the point.
I am very concerned about my son in all of this. The little guy is seven and our heart, and he sure as hell didn't cause or ask for any of this. That rips me apart more than anything.
Corri, it's late. I am now thinking about my son in all of this, and I'm going to sign off for the night. Thank you for all of your attention concerning me and my problems.
