Thanks, I will get the book and read it. I have no problem with making changes, in fact this entire experience has been a real eye opener for me. I have made changes, and I will continue to make changes to be a better person. When I looked (inside) at myself when all of this came up, boy, was I ever disappointed in what I had become. Regardless of what happens with me and my wife, I will never again be the person that I saw when this divorce business started.

Especially if she is expected to change some of her behaviors.
This is going to be tricky. My wife has not accepted any responsibility for her actions in this matter. You can't change something unless you recognize that it's a problem. She simply does not think that she's had a hand in the demise of our relationship. I can't help her with recognizing that; she has to do it on her own. Right now she is seeing me as the sole person responsibe for all of our problems, and, therefore, she sees herself as not having had anything to do with our problems. I don't know what to do about this other than wait it out.

You're the second person on here that's told me, because she has not filed papers yet, that she's waiting. Waiting for what? I can only change myself, which I'm doing. My wife knows that I will never beg her to stay, and she knows that at some point I might become unwilling to work on our marriage. I have not told her that, but my wife knows me. She knows that when I get my fill of something, I can walk away. I try until I'm satisfied that I can possibly do nothing else, then I walk away.

I personally don't believe that she's waiting for me to do something or that she's waiting to see what I do. I think she doesn't want the stigma of having filed for our divorce hanging over her head. In the state that we live in "I don't love you anymore" is not one of the statutes for divorce. I see this as passive agression. She knows that I will not continue to live like this, so she'll wait me out. At some point I'll file. She gets her divorce, which she wants, and she can tell everyone that I filed for divorce. My wife is no dummy; she is a very intelligent woman.

Thanks for your thoughts. I'm certainly going to get the book and read it.