Well. Like I said. There are those with 'tude, and those with not.
I understand your frustration, and I don't want to project onto your wife something that she may or may not be doing. The fact that she has filed for a D, but has not taken it any further screams to me that she is trying to get your attention. To me. K?
Have you been in marriage counseling, and are you willing to suggest to your wife that she go with you? Are you willing to go yourself, for your son, even if she does not want to go?