You may be right about some of these guys here helping me, but I just don't see it with the comments I've seen from them. They all seem to be big talkers and make big assumptions over the internet. I just wonder if they'd be so quick to take those actions with me face to face. All of this is fruitless and childish. I didn't come here to defend myself. I have always thought that if one did not have something productive to say, one should keep his/her mouth shut. I came here for help, not to get bogged down in this foolishnes.
This "be a man" crap is so far removed from me that it's laughable. I don't think anyone that has ever known me, including my wife, would ever place me in the "not a man" category, in any classification of the phrase. I'm hearing that I'm angry and that I'm envious of my wife's career and that I'm not a leader and I'm not taking any responsibility for my marital situation, and this and that. I'm not sure if some of these "men" have read what I've written or if they have, I'm not sure they can comprehend what I've written.
Hell, maybe everyone here is right and I'm wrong. Maybe I should do exactly what my wife wants me to do to get her to stay, I could be her boy toy. Perhaps I should buckle and make all of the changes in myself and my marriage to get her to stay while at the same time expecting no changes from her--yep, that be the "manly" thing to do. Then the next time she wanted something she could use this same ploy again--yeah, I'd definitely be the leader in those situations.
I can very honestly say that if my wife is not going to work on herslf and our marriage willingly and openly, I don't want her to stay. The same holds true for me. I would not expect my wife to stay if I was unwilling or open to working on myself and our marriage. It's not a matter of rolling up my sleves and going to work, I have no problem with that, but I'm just too damn proud to do all of the work to save my marriage for a spouse that seems like she couldn't care less about me or us.
Maybe you're right Corri, maybe this is her last ditch effort (slapping me in the head) to see where it leads. (I too find it very strange that she wailed for a divorce and as soon as I agreed to one she has not mentioned it again.)I personally don't make threats and don't take lightly being threatened (in this case the divorce issue). If this is a game, she could very well be disappointed in the outcome. And so could I.
I am going to continue to follow my feelings on this issue. I am not going to do a damned thing but take care of myself and my son. I am going to continue not to give her the time of day--I'm civil and there for my wife, but I no longer plan my business or life around us. I am not going to approach her about fixing our marriage.
Again Corri, thank you for your time and comments, but I just don't see me getting much help here. I will continue to read the posts, and I certainly wish everyone well in their endevors.
