Afterall....This IS my Life III

[heatherg]

Thank you so much-all of you. Each of you was such a tremendous comfort to me today!! I am truly, truly grateful.

Nops, your calm, gentle and certain approach to what I need to do is just what I need. THANK YOU.

Cobra, I about fell off my chair. Thanks man BTW, I edited to say "I know my lack of commitment has caused you pain over the years and I'm really sorry. You have so many great qualities and you deserve to be loved for who you are. Despite the pain you've felt, you always respected yourself and overall, you handled it remarkably well. You are you all the time, even when it's hard and I respect you immensely for that".

I sent the email. I feel really good about what I said, I feel like I was able to convey my feelings. I am trying not to get my hopes up, to keep myself in check. Right now, I am still on the path to separation and I can't set myself up for heartbreak. But you know what? I think it's too late. As often as I've told myself today that I can't get my hopes up, I can't seem to keep it stuffed. I am extremely anxious....I am very absent minded today and I barely got anything done at work.

It's definitely too late not to get my hopes up though. If I don't get a response, I really will be crushed. Again.

For right now, I'm just going to be grateful for the opportunity I had to communicate with him openly and honestly regardless of the outcome.