No. No, no and no again. Ugh. No. Do not listen to these men. No.
Okay. Here is what I want you to do, the next time Mr. HP goes babyish on you. ESPECIALLY, when he has a hand on your clit.
Ready?
Okay. Hand on clit. Baby voice.
I want HP to sit up, gently take Mr. HP's hand and say, "Okay, Mr. HP, here's what I want you to do."
You roll him over, you lay him on his back... you take his... uhm... maleness... and begin to work in HP fashion. However you choose.
And then you say to him... "Mr. HP, do you like what I am doing?" in your husky HP voice.
He'll say yes. And you will say... "Mr. HP, what if I said it like this?" And you mimic his voice. "Is that a turn on for you?"
And you continue on, waiting for his answer, in a most aggressive HP fashion.
And he will tell you "no, I don't like that." (or maybe he might, which will give you something as well).
And then you proceed to tease the hell out of him, which we have already discussed.
And then you say to him, "Mr. HP, now I want you to do the same thing to me, as I am doing to you... can you do that for me... (all breathy and turned on like)...please...???? Cuz I need you...
So, in short. You don't tell him. Please. Ewh. Would you want him telling you how to do it? No, I don't think so. You'd much rather have him show you, if Mr. HP had the balls... which he doesn't... but YOU do.
Uhm... HPtt... if I wasn't clear...before... you show him what MRS. HP, ahem... MRS. HP.... wants and likes... demonstrate it for him... illustrate it for him... give him very clear examples of what MRS. HP wants and likes... and emblazon it on his psyche... it no uncertain terms. ahem.
Excellent. Have you been reading some sex manuals that I don't yet have in my library.-LOL. This brought to mind the time that my H told me that I was "blocking his manly desire". I wasn't telling him what to do but I was asking him to tell me what to do. I was actually saying "What do you want me to do now?" in a teasing voice. So maybe I was telling him to tell me? I'm really beginning to doubt my sexual communication skills.
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
corris idea would work to show him what to do/what she likes, but it wont give him the 'ewww' feeling that she gits from the baby talk so that he can empathise and go .. 'OH. thats gross to her.'
besides corri, your idea will make HP feel all exposed and vulnerable. cant have that now-- can we?
besides corri, your idea will make HP feel all exposed and vulnerable. cant have that now-- can we?
exactly. Sheesh. Finally someone understands me.
Well, here are the official winners of my unofficial contest: Chrome and Blackfoot. Humor works wonders with MrH.
The problem with both the NOP and Corri approach is that the outcome is favorable to MrH and so he would repeat it. For those of you who think, oh nonsense, I can assure you that he would. His fear in that moment...well, I don't understand it but I can say that it's really real. I can feel it vibrating off him. The ONLY thing that would serve as a deterrent would be something so repugnant that it sticks in his mind forever and ever. That's why I'm leaning towards the biker man gruff voice suggestion of blackie's. In one second that would eliminate that behavior permanently. It would never leave his mind. I'll keep you posted, however I should tell you that I have given up the SSM board for Lent and I will be back after Easter. I'm stopping in today to respond to the messages that were left for me.
Here is a quickie for you: I'm leaving today for a 4 day visit to CO and was going over my itinerary with MrH last night. I mentioned that I would be back at 11:00 pm Sunday night. He calculated for a split second and then said, Well I guess we should have sex immediately after you get home, cause you're getting home so late. I just sat there and felt this wave of laughter coming over me. I said, H I'm trying to go over times here and all you can think about is exactly when you will be able to nail me to the headboard when I get home. He said, No actually I'm also thinking about when I can do it tonight too, before you leave. Then I really lost it! I mean, is this the same guy?? Blackfoot, HE is the one who has come a long way, I'm just along for his ride. (and what a good one it is) I find this whole thing hilarious.
And even better: Last night, no baby talk.
Have a great pre-spring everyone. I'll miss you all.
Honey
P.S. GGB, you will appreciate this: I'm going a little nutso during Lent. So far, I've given up sweets, liquor, the bb, and tea. What...have me and MrH switched places? Just what the *$#! is going on here?! Well, I figured if the idea is to create an intentional void in your life, that you can then make a conscious effort to fill up with God, then I need to make plenty of room cause I can use all the help I can get.
