That was supposed to read "I get all kinds of placating from you."
Seeing your reply to Corri I am sure you have NOT tried everything to repair your marriage. Honesty, sincerity and vulnerability are not in your vocabulary. Revenge and control seem to be your main tools.
If your wife is seeing someone else, then you are going to have to turn yourself around. Like Corri says, I don't see how your W can't at least have found a sympathetic man to talk to. If you were truly ready to walk away from this marriage you would not be anywhere near this angry, you would be resigned to the fact and you would just do it.
What I see is a man who is hurt and scared of losinng his wife, and embarrassed to admit that he may have already lost her. That doesn't mean you can't get her back, but you first need to drop the theatrics and admit to yourself that this is what you really want. If so, you need to set out to accomplish that, take on your reforms and make your plan on your own initiative and stop waiting for someone else (like your W) to do it for you.
