I don't think we're in MLC. Either we've been through or are going through MLT, but we don't have the Crisis that you mentioned in the beginning. Having a MLC Spouse triggers a MLT in LBS. Look at us on the boards. We have to deal with the crisis of our WAS in our own ways, but even GAL and PMA can be classified as MLT. We have to change to get to our second adulthood in order to meet our WAS on the other side and welcome them back.
Regarding the parents, I agree that how we were raised determines how we handle the crisis of transition. Most of us that are on the boards can probably say they had at least one, if not two great parents that gave them the support they needed to handle a crisis. I know that my mom was that person since I got to watch how my father handled his MLT and nearly drove my mom to the breaking point (she's still on anti-depressants, but they have been married 40 years come May). And, even though my dad's no saint, I can honestly say that he stuck to his family while in transition. Instead of running off trying to relive his youth, he simply refocused on what was wrong and corrected it.
My W's family is a lot more fractured. Financially, they are in a very bad place and have been for most of the last two decades. Alcoholism and other problems run rampant in the family, and, unfortunately, W is following the example as she tries to recapture her "glory days". So, she had no basis on how to handle the transition and slipped into crisis.
The truly ironic thing in most of these situations is the people that seem to spring up out of the woodwork to aid our MLCers into full-blown crisis mode instead of easing them back to transition. Most of them seem to come from similar bad family situations and advise that the crisis attitude is the only way to get through to the other side.
The only bright side to all of this is that at some point, most of the MLCers of LBS to regain that stability. It's just really painful to watch them give up on everything to figure that out.
"I made the wall of shadow draw back, beyond desire and act, I walked on.
Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost, I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you."
