It seems that your point of view on this is very narrow.
Please. I'm one of the most wide-open people you will find on this board. Sheath your claws.
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Do you think the man is solely responsible for starting all of the physical contact in a relationship?
Nope. Not at all. I'm not for simpering men, either. It's very unattractive to the female species.
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I am certainly not waiting on my wife to make this work. She cannot make this work on her own any more than I can. The difference is that I tried for two months after the bomb was dropped to try to get her into counseling, tried to engage her in conversation, etc. only to be rebuffed on all attempts.
Tell me exactly HOW you tried. If you were placating and coming off as begging and wimpering... it won't work. I would bet the farm your woman has a man on the side, if not in a PA, then in an EA. You cannot tell me, in all honesty, in the SEVEN years that you gave up on sexual affection and lost all hope for communication that you would LET your wife flounder and HOPE she would find her own way. Marriage is a partnership, afterall, and you dropped YOUR FAIR SHARE of the bargain. If you can at least admit that, then there might be hope for you. You are here, afterall. Tells me you want to work on the marriage, but really, you have no clue. BTDT. Everyone here has.
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I love my wife. I want to spend the rest of my days with this woman. I have accepted that this may not be possible.
Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. THAT is your problem. Placating all OVER the place.
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That being said, I cannot wait forever for someone that doesn't know what they want to do. She wants a divorce, she can get one. She is making no attempt to get one, nor is she making any attempt to reconcile our differences.
Exactly. She is making no attempt. I can tell you, if she wanted one, if she wanted to go on the offensive, she would. I did. She is waiting for you to TAKE THE LEAD. And.. I am glad you have gotten yourself a life, I am glad you are getting yourself back into shape, I am glad you are taking this attitude... however, if you want to save your marriage... cut out the poor me crap. Take the lead. A man leads, a woman follows. She is slapping you upside your head, in the only last way she knows how...
Now. If you want to get in my face about all this, bring it on. If you want to shut your azz up and fix your marriage, then by all means, lose the 'tude, and be the bright, intelligent, capable man that we all know on this board you can be.
And stop getting in my face. I'm trying to help you.
