It is so good to hear from you. In regards to standing well I guess God will reveal His answers in time and we don't know what his plan is but some day we will.
About the inlaws. I think it is possible to be supportive of both the mlcer and the spouses. I know blood is thicker than water but we should not just be discarded after all these years.
Well not much to do except deal with those feelings or run them over like Angelica suggested.
Mermaid, I know I have asked you this before, but i am still wanting answers. With my bloody inlaws I have so much resentment. I know i need to forgive, and maybe I will one day be grown up enough to do it. But I have had a much easier time forgivng my husband. Maybe it is because he has apologized? Maybe it is because he actually had guilt and showed remorse. But the inlaws have completely shut me out of their lives. Like I am a disposable item, like i never existed, and neither did the kids.
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
BND, I completely agree. Same thing with me. totally shut out. I treated them better than their own kids.
Why call me your Daughter when you meant none of it.
You know ,it's such a common theme. And I know my parents would NOT have done that....so maybe there is a profile of issues of the MLC parent, too. After all, it is THEIR actions that planted the seed for the damage WE pay for. That is also what I find so outrageous. The IL's plant the seed, create the horrible damage and we get kicked to the curb...the only healthy thing in their life.
My theory is that they were bad parents and still are. And, like small people, will do anything to avoid blame and standing up as parents...b/c when have they done that before. So, as long as someone else is getting blamed for the kids' misery, and not them, they will support the finger-pointing. I know that is the case in my ILs case. They know the damage they did, and don't want to face. They love fially being the "good parents who sweep in to rescue...please forget what we did to you as ac hild."
Ugh. i hate it, it's like double rejection.
Funny thing, my parents, even after all of this, STILL adore my H. Still are so hurt and confused. They are real people, GOOD people.
You are a very beautiful person. You are struggling with this because you have such a good heart and you cannot understand how you could be treated so badly by family. You gave your mil 8 beautiful grandchildren. You raised them while your h got to embark on his career. You deserve to be treated so much better.
I think for you it is time to deal with these issues and that is why you are struggling with them. Most of us still have to struggle to forgive our spouses so we have put the inlaws on the back burner. It is time for you to work through these emotions. Take as long as you need.
Maybe you need to grieve the loss of that relationship too so you can have a new one with your inlaws. I don't know if you will ever get closure but maybe as time goes on the pain will lessen a little.
I do think you really do think that you are being brought to this in order to heal and move on then you can have a brand new marriage. Better than ever like you deserve.
I don't know how to go about doing it really except to not deny those feelings.
Your faith brought your h back. Your faith will help here too. Just give it all to God.
I wish I had some real answers for you.
I know you will get over this next hurdle also. You have been through so much and you are such a strong woman.
Maybe you should be Mizzz PoolBoyz. I am glad my post helped.
No sightings of you know who but have you seen the show lately. He seems too much like a confused man. Sound familiar. But then again he is chosing Justine Bateman who I resembled in her Family Ties days.
I saw your post on my thread, decided it was time to finally post over here. Oh, I have been keeping up, really enjoyed the talk about the high heels, giggled a couple of times along with nodding my head. High heels and dirt driveways/roads, now all thick and muddy from the snow melt, just won't work well together. I'd probably slip getting on my tractor!
Just like you, I'm keeping busy enough to keep myself moving, hopefully forward. Although there are days I actually wonder.
You and your girls are also in my prayers.... It's going to be better, it's all just a matter of time.
Take care of you, God Bless
Love,
Laughing
Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you.........
