I haven't heard of the movie "the secret" but I'll look into it.
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You told me not so long ago that you have met 9 out of 10 goals that you set for your M. And now you're contemplating D just because of not having met 1 goal!!!
I dont think it is so much because of not having met the 1 remaining goal I think it is more because I'm so scared of it going wrong again and being even more hurt that I just want to save myself the pain in some way. I don't know I can't really explain it.
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When you asked your H about ML, he basically told you that he didn't want to rush into it as he didn't want to ruin a perfect thing. He's afraid and it's a legitimate concern. Specially, since only 9 or 10 weeks ago, he wanted a D. Also, things haven't been this good in the M in a LONG TIME, right? So put yourself in HIS SHOES. The guy is afraid.
I kind of get what you mean but don't see what he has to be afraid of. To me it is him that is making it possibly go wrong again by not sorting out this problem in his head about ML. Maybe there are things he isn't telling me about what is in his head.
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Also, I don't understand how not having H in the house would make you get a life as that would make you a single mother. Single parents have it harder than married! Trust me on this one, friend. Poor JG, he can barely run out the door to buy eggs and milk for breakfast sometimes...S5 goes everywhere with him!
Oh believe me I know!! I looked after S single handed for the whole 4 months we were separated. You can't even go to the loo on your own! What I meant by that was that when H wasn't there it forced me to do more on my own because I had no choice whereas know I have H to consider in things and am (happily) spending more time doing things with H which leaves less time for me.
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So, please don't be offended. I'm speaking from experience here
I'm not offended by anything you say Rainbowlove - I'm grateful you try to help so much.
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I'm concerned that you don't have a single GF to connect with. Work on that pronto!
I know, it has been a problem all my life. I always seemed to prefer to do things on my own and have always struggled to make friends. (ugh I can nearly hear violins - it sounds so pathetic!)
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Maybe you're putting so much emphasis on the ML as you feel so isolated without friends and as if this M had BETTER BE PERFECT as there is nothing else in your life?? Just a thought
I can see why you would think that and it is a valid point. However I feel that this M had BETTER BE PERFECT because I know H is the love of my life and I don't want to not have him in it and I also don't want my little S to have to go through it again.
An update -
Yesterday I tried my very hardest not to mention the issue to H or ask any questions and I mostly managed. H thanked me for trying so hard before we went to bed and said that we have been together a long time and he doesn't want it not to work and he hasn't come back for it to fail and that he just needs more time. He said he knows I feel I've given him loads of time already but he needs some more because he wants to get it right and doesn't want either of us to end up where we were before. That's good right??
