Well folks, I've looked over a lot of literature on depression and its variations, and I'm as confused as ever.
Nothing is ever black and white, it seems.
My W might be depressed. She might have an eating disorder. She might be undergoing a MLC.
In fact, she has spontaneously raised each one of these questions on her own.
So what does that mean, anyway?
She's in her mid-thirties, her career is not exactly taking off, she hates her job, she resents the fact that we haven't started a family, she can't bear the thought of my Ps, and she's really confronting the horror that was her childhood.
And she resents my "control," the attention always focused on me and my needs, and is still hurt and angry about everything that I ever did to let her down.
She's gambling on a big chance, career-wise. So that's on the table too.
Well, it's no wonder that depression could hit. Likewise everything else. But sometimes she seems so sane (moreso than me, for instance), that it seems that she's not exactly in the same boat as every other MLC person.
Can someone be "partially" in MLC? Or is this a sort of artificial designation anyway, one whose boundaries could fade away into a whole bunch of different sorts of things?
See, before I would have said unequivocably that she was really out of the loop. Even now, if she's still with her OM, I'm convinced that she isnt thinking straight.
(I'm using her own words here. She said that she felt "lulled" or "hypnotized" by him, and that he made her feel like she was mentally ill. Of course, she also said he made her feel at home, so who knows?)
But now she seems more together, albeit sad. But there is NO sort of indication she would even THINK about coming back to me.
In fact, she keeps talking about how she's "sad". Why? Well, it's the unspoken "because I cannot be married to you, but I love you more than you'll ever know. In fact, we'll always be married in a way. Etc."
Jeez louise.
Look folks, it's hard to be "detached" when you're sleeping with the woman you love more than anything else in the world and she's telling you how much she loves you too. She wants to cook dinner for you. She wears your clothes. She massages your temples when you have a headache. She giggles when you kiss her.
All that stuff, you know. But she doesn't want to be married to you. She says things like she wishes she could stay in this 'limbo' forever. But the unspoken is that one cannot remain in a holding pattern for the rest of their lives. Gotta move on, no matter how much it hurts.
