Let's make a deal: you grow a spine and I'll grow a sack. ;-)
I have similar issues that you do.
They can smell the fear in us, can't they? We use non-confrontation as a way, we think, of controlling their behavior. And you know what? We are the ones being controlled. We fear losing our families so much that we choke out whatever emotional oxygen there is in our marriage relationship. We act like doormats, and we are surprised they wipe their feet on us. We have no real capacity for asking for what we want, so they think we have no real desires or emotional depth.
Ouch....I had to say that.
I hate fear, most of all, the fear I see in myself.
Good job and moving with GAL-ing.
I can only tell you what a friend told me:
"You know, I think it's fine for you to talk about whatever you need to, and this is a hard time for you, but it seems most of what I'm hearing is how you are responding to your wife's actions. She does this, or says that, and then you fret. The tail is wagging the dog. You are acting like you are an appendage to her story. The truth is, right now, she needs to be peripheral to YOUR story. When you guys work things out you will be equal players in a shared story. But right now, RIGHT NOW, I want to know, Theoden, is what's your call to adventure?"
You are you Aud31? You are you?
What's so special about who you are?
What, about you, is so precious, that no one should dare violate?
What makes you interesting?
What makes you unique?
What are doing to open your heart?
What are you doing to have fun?
What are you doing that might incease your wisdom, atrractiveness, and personal power?
