Oh boy! I remember this stage so clearly. Not being able to eat, my mind spinning with memories of the previous 20 years, worries about our children, couldn't work, couldn't do anything. As you said, OB, frozen in place.

Now, take some advice from someone who was there, and survived (and the many here too, and you will be one too) -

GET OUT OF THE HOUSE, AND DO SOMETHING .... ANYTHING .... EVEN JUST GO FOR A WALK.

Sorry, didn't mean to shout.

Okay, do I have your attention ... ? ;\) How about doing the following?

Realise ... that life does go on.
You are ... worth more than this.
Even if your H is in Lalaland, you are not. It's his loss, and he will realise this one day, even if he may not say it.
Write down what you plan to do about getting on with your life (with or without him).
Also, this is a process, so take each day as it comes, and declare it a victory if you successfully get through it.
DECIDE that you will be okay ... you have the power to choose what you want in life.
Take time to be sad, be angry, be confused, but then move on. Damn, you have a right to these feelings, but don't linger too long.
Know that you are a good person, a woman of worth, and you have much to be proud of. Your H is messing up, and throwing away the best thing in his life, but he is unaware of that right now, so leave him to his devices. Detach, detach, detach.

When I discovered my H had OW (he was away for a week with our S's scout troop), I sought legal advice about my rights in the even my H decided to D me. I went to see a C, just to get it all out - my hurt, pain, anger, frustration, etc. I opened a separate bank account (just to feel some way independent - you could do something else). I recruited a good friend to be my go-whine-to-and-cry buddy. Then, I cleaned our house from top to bottom. Went shopping for some really sexy clothes. Had my hair done. Then, I waited for him to come home. The rest is history as they say.

REMEMBER: You are more than half of a sour relationship (or even a good R for that matter). We are all individuals in our own right, and our journey is sometimes joyful, and sometimes it is very painful. It is how we handle the painful part, that will determine how much we will appreciate the joyful, happy parts. Your H may or may not come back, but that should not determine how you will be, what choices you will make for your own good, and how you will be true to your authentic self.

Here are a couple of interesting articles on Dr. Phil's website (I like some of his advice, especially on marriage):
Ask yourself, what's the worst that can happen? You get divorced ... well, there is life after D - http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/213

When do you decide to call it quits? http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/23

Have you read DR? Or DB?

What can you do to improve yourself? http://www.drphil.com/articles/article/44

The above are some of the things that helped me. I hope some will help you, and some will probably not really apply to you, but it's worth the read, anyway.

Take care!

Me:57 H:52 M:28 Got another lawyer last year and filed.
D35,S/D twins28,D22
EA4/04 End? Who knows?
"Life is like a mirror. Smile at it and it smiles back at you." — Peace Pilgrim