Sorry to meet you here, friend. What I would start with is asking whether or not the two of you are getting any joint counseling. Both of you need to understand why the affairs happened. You should do this whether you plan to divorce or not. If you do decide to divorce, your future relationships will greatly benefit from an honest analysis of this one. Saying that "it's all her fault" won't cut it with most of us on here -- we all know that it really takes two people to screw up a marriage.
Also, have you read the book Divorce Remedy?
The LORD is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth." (Psalm 145:18)
