You can be mad (not in front of him). Ever tried screaming at an empty chair with a pillow for him? Sounds crazy (hmm, that must be why I'm here), but I get to say all the things I won't/can't say to him (yet). I think Rosy has a good suggestion with letting the pain wash over you, I'm just horrible at doing it. So, I shout at the pillow. At least it gets it out of me and I can go on.
This is how my H I planned it. It was just suppossed to be the two of us. Taking care of each other, counting on one another. He lied... all his promises were broken
I know, breaking promises, some they say they didn't make. And right now he's to stupid to realize what he's walking away from. I hope he wakes up, then the choice will be yours, not his.
OB I just finished reading your thread. I was there one year ago. I know how you much it hurts. It is a physical pain. I missed many days of work because I couldn't function, I cried I pleaded I begged I did a lot of other things that I am not proud of....BUT I SURVIVED! And so will you. Here I am one year out and I am ok. I will not lie it still hurts but not as much. I still cry, but not as much. Sometimes the tears come for just a few seconds and then I am fine. I have no secrets but it takes time. You need to take care of you. Yes I know that's what everyone says but it is true. Be a strong person. Get legal advise, just in case, do something different, change your hair anything that makes you feel good. (I bought new sheets for my bed after he left.) Remember you deserve to be treated with love and respect so act that way. Good Luck!
Me 45 H 51 married 15 yrs D 13, S's 10,8 bomb 1-06, moved out 3-06 filed for D, 7-06,10-06,11-06,12-06 3-07, asked to try again 6-07 D on hold D process restarted 10-07 now trying to reconcile!
I know the fear, I know stubborn. We can't let our fears rule us though. I'm not sure they trun their feelings off so much as bury them, then they come out in all sorts of twisted ways. SJ is right, you deserve to be treated with love and respect and this starts with you. What could you do for yourself today? Even if it doesn't make you feel great, something nice, just b/c.
I can't imagine trying to leave the house. I look like someone punched me. I'm ashamed of myself for getting this bad. I thought I would be okay but it just hurts. Pain like I never imagined having
