He is convinced that my family and friends are telling me what to do, that they are encouraging me to leave him. He's right, they are. But I don't tell him that so I don't know how he knows.
I'm sure it is easy to read in the faces of family and friends, in how they interact with him, and he is sensitive to it for sure.
Quote:
We both have to recommit and stop waiting for the other to 'go first'.
Unfortunately, someone usually does have to go first, and go first MANY times before the other one takes their turn. It is a hard, crappy way to go, but that's the way it is.
My SEC once gave me advice concerning my W's rejections of plans for QT, affection, intimacy, etc. He said that I should come up with many different possibilities for QT (for example), throw one of them out there, and if I get rejected just respond with "oh ... ok", go do something else, and then come back sometime later with then next idea. He said that given what he knows about her from my comments and from the time she came into a session with me, I need to be prepared to do this hundreds of times and get rejected hundreds of times before she starts to come out of her shell. He actually then sighed audibly just thinking about it.
The fact is, I feel that you want your M to work, and I now feel that your H wants your M to work. There is hard, and sometimes crappy, work that will need to be done. Are you willing to do what it takes?
Chrome ... who is also waiting for NOPkins to arrive and give more specific advice
"Recollect me darlin, raise me to your lips, two undernourished egos, four rotating hips"
