Tell me one more thing… what is it in your wife’s past that makes her this way? I have asked several times but you have not answered. What went on in her FOO? Can I find it in an old thread somewhere?
I don't know where the old thread is anymore. Basically, her mother and father married young, supposedly because her mom was pregnant with her. They had one more kid (a sister). Got divorced when W was 11. She and sis went to live with her dad, who apparently pulled some sort of power play to get them (I won't pay a dime of child support, you can't afford them, so let me have them) Her dad is very controlling, and was emotionally abusive ("How could you be so stupid?!" was something she says she heard often while growing up) Her mom is very non-confrontational. She and her sister moved back to where her mom lived after about 2-3 years with Dad, but mom was busy getting a nursing degree, so they lived with her maternal grandparents. Lots of abandonment issues, of course, since mom was too busy to take care of them, and, even after the nursing degree, didn't do a very good job of it.
W has a good relationship for the most part with her mom, but hasn't spoken to her dad in about two years, and that's just fine with her, as she has tried many times to re-connect with him, and he ends up "breaking my heart." Her dad remarried shortly after divorcing her mom, had a daughter with second wife, and showers that daughter with gifts, money, etc. W and her sister (sister still has relationship with her dad) have been told by him that they just don't feel like a part of his family to him.
I've sometimes thought that she treats me so badly to replay her childhood, with me playing her part, and her playing her Dad's part. Is it to get back at male-dom? Is it in hopes that I'll stand up to her? Is it in hopes that I'll leave her?
I dunno. I'm just getting the facts out.
Last night was another fun, friendly, happy night. Wish I'd read blackfoot's post before we went to bed. I think it's a good idea.
