1. You both love them. Daddy and Mommy are there for them. 2, This is not their fault. 3. Daddy is not sure if he's in love in mommy anymore, he's moving out to get his thoughts together. 4. If it's obvious and undeniable that he's dating another woman, then tell the oldest that daddy had a girlfriend now. She'll figure it our anyway. He'll have to justify it to her. If it were me, I wouldn't create a "united front" explanation about the affair. It's not OK for daddy to have a girlfriend. I would tell my kids it's called adultery and that daddy is cheating on mommy and breaking his promise. That's just me. Most family therapists would disagree with me. But I am not going to lie to my kids or compromise my core convictions to make it easier for them or my spouse who is having an affair. 5. Insist, during the separation that your daughter is not be in the presence of the OW. When he has the kids, it's ONLY him. 6. If the separation is legal, and hopefully it's not, you can ask the judge/mediator/lawyer to make sure he doesn't expose the kids to the OW.
