Can any of you LBS list what the needs are of your MLC spouse?
Thanks Paul. I'm having a lot of trouble detaching because I'm still grieving the old relationship and not moving on.
In regards to my wife's needs, I can sum it up in one word: independence. We began dating when she was 21 and living at home with her folks. She had one other 'serious' relationship before us, but he was 29 and she was 18 at the time when they moved in together. It wasn't a healthy relationship either.
She had never lived on her own or was in complete control of her finances. There was even a point, in the beginning of our relationship, where I broke up with her because I saw that she hadn't really been on her own and I didn't want to prevent her from experiencing that. But six weeks (and a lot of phone calls) later, we got back together since she implied that didn't matter to her.
Over the course of the last eight years, I've steadily taken on the financial role of the relationship, paying the bills, figuring out our savings, etc. She never complained about this, mostly because she doesn't like the math aspect. So, it started being more of me telling her how much money we would have to spend and she really had no idea what was going on.
Take that and tie it a MLC where she's got new friends that are five years younger and like to go out drinking regularly, and she started pining for the freedom of single life. This brings us to our current situation. She moved out into friend's house, living her freedom, but I'm still handling all the finances. I'm preparing to change this, however, with re-financing our home mortgage under just my name and getting our joint accounts separated so she can start her own financial freedom.
When (PMA) she comes back, I intend on bringing her into the financial side of the marriage a lot more so she feels like a partner instead of a employee. I just hope that she will want to work with the finances since she was always happy to just dump the receipts on me and let me do the math...
"I made the wall of shadow draw back, beyond desire and act, I walked on.
Oh flesh, my own flesh, woman whom I loved and lost, I summon you in the moist hour, I raise my song to you."
