I suppose the purpose of my post is to say Give yourself a break once in a while. And, yes, I'm aware that since that piece of unsolicited advice came from a woman that you will automatically discount it.

Women have taught me about my weak areas more then I ever could have figured out, and gave me the desire to hammer them out. I listen. sometimes. not so she would notice though. It would have been a lot more effective to proactively be protectively jealous, then reactively violently possesive. I cant believe I actually have the words violently possesive attributed to me in this life. Where is the 'reset' button. Damn, Its not working. What do you mean I cant uninstall? I dont like this new OS. Its pretty but really buggy.

I would like to say I never touched her, or wanted to, nor was she ever afraid for herself that way.

you are clearly a nice boy although I do find some of your theories annoying. Annoyingly correct. I know. Trust me, they occasionally annoy me just as much.

I am more functional and differentiated. No lie.-LOL
 LOL Yes you are. Kudos to your H for dealing with you back then. Your doing really good.

really wish that you would give me a concrete example of how a person can state or get what they want without being assertive. If simply being assertive makes me unfeminine than it s*cks to be a female because I'll never get anything I want in life. If that is the case then I might as well give up on having a relationship with a man and go live alone in my cottage with an orchard.


Gosh, I give give give and you want more. ;\)
This is a good thing you and HP to work on together. Mrs. Nop can give you ideas, and Corri is having a lot of fun with it too. you can be assertive and self protective without being dominating or retaliatory. Your not dominating with your H. Trying that will not be congruent. You just need to stand still and stick up for yourself. Have a couple glasses of red wine, if you want to.

I hope that you understood that the "ask" goes both ways in my analogy. If I as an adult woman ... A contract is an agreement and an agreement is two people "asking" and "answering".

applesauce and cheers. you have to learn how to ask then if the other is not answering. Just like HDM do. and BTW, I know you are a courteous and open lover.

he decides that my boundary stating that I am only willing to keep my weight within the healthy guidelines of the surgeon general is bullsh*t and he wants someone really thin, more power to him! one thing important about giving someone else boundaries is being able to accept theres without personalizing. If he wants you to be unhealthy thats up to you to set a boundary. I seriously doubt that though.