What does it all mean??

[ourcrisis]

lonely olive, I also blew it yesterday after days of DBing. H actually came out and said in quite affirmative way that he was trying to end this as soon as possible. Then due to his "promise" to spend one day with her, one little thing led to another and I blew up and it went back to the point where he was gonna leave me right then and there. Fortunately for me, he did calm down and we had a long talk. Now it's still very rocky, but he is still trying to end the relationship, but I NEED to give him space. Which means it will be HELL for me. But I think I am going to do what runningoutoftime suggests, I am going to have fun myself. As my h may not be able to provide that, I will go for friends to look for fun.
You mentioned you have to say ILU first all the time. Yes, that's what it is for now. I have to initiate all the time. Don't you just hate that? BUT just do it anyway, as long as he does not push you away, it's positive. Just have to think of it this way. I have built up frustrations (which caused arguments which set us back), and I am learning to direct my anger/frustration elsewhere. I just found out something yesterday which so far seems to work. When h talks, don't reply with any information, just stay quiet and let him talk, eventhough sometimes there may be a whole minute of silence. For me, he talks more if I just shut up (for the record, I am not a talkative babbling wife to begin with). Not sure if this will work for you, may be worth a try.
Good luck to all of us.