Thank you for all your kind words. I know there's not much I can do now except wait for him, in the hopes that he comes around. In the meantime, I am not calling him, and I do not plan to help him work on the finances. That's always been my area, but now it's going to be up to him. I'm sure I'm taking a hell of a gamble here with that decision, BUT, everything is in both of our names. We own some land, and the plan was to sell some of it to pay everything off, with me keeping the house and our animals. I even had a realtor come out last spring and get it all started, but then he never followed through.
What am I doing for myself???? Well, a little bit at least. I started Yoga, I just love my counselor, she makes me feel so good! I make bread in my bread maker, and I have started going out with friends a little bit-not to bars mind you, that's not something I'm into. I know I need to do more, and for the last few weeks I've been working on thinking of things to do. I live in Michigan and until a few days ago it's been so bitter cold! I love the outdoors, and am looking forward to spring. Talking on this board is something that's helping too. How cool that you both responded so quickly!
I just quit smoking-something I've wanted to do, and figured what the hell, I'm already miserable, why not get it over with! I've lost 50 Lbs, and that makes me feel really good, although it came off from the stress. I actually lost 11 Lbs in a week when he said he was leaving last month. I still want to lose more, and I know at some point I'll have to start working on it.
I consider myself a strong person-but this has just about brought me to my knees. After the "mentally ill" remark, I found myself face down on the floor wailing like a fool, drooling all over the carpet. That was a turning point for me. I'm not ashamed that I did that, in fact it felt kind of good! I guess I'm still in the process of picking myself up off the floor. I know I need to take steps to take care of myself, as I've read so much about. It's all a process, for them and for us. I read and read, and like you say, until you go through it you don't understand all there is to know. This group has guided me through very well though. I don't know what I would have done without all of you.
