and she (im sure) felt something, and stepped up to the plate in the way that she could. Unlike me
Why are you so quick to protect your x and rip on yourself?
She sensed something going on and did what women have been doing for millenia--used sex to keep her man. Nothing wrong with that. In a similar circumstance, you did what men do--get violently possessive.
You put a great deal of emphasis on the man leading and how you could have avoided the trainwreck and I mostly agree with this. However, you gotta consider the quality of individual you are trying to lead. Not every woman radiates integrity and strength. That's not to say she's a bitch; it may only mean that she is immature and needs to make these collosal mistakes in order to figure out who she is. Otoh, it may mean that it was never there and it never will be. Maybe you were trying to lead a person who was not built of the strong stuff you thought she was.
I go back and forth on your sitch. On one hand I think Criminately blackfoot, people are human beings not robots. They make mistakes and have weaknesses, even big ones. Otoh I admire your insistence on integrity.
I suppose the purpose of my post is to say Give yourself a break once in a while. And, yes, I'm aware that since that piece of unsolicited advice came from a woman that you will automatically discount it. Don't worry, I'm quite used to that treatment from my own dear nice alpha(beta) man.
