OM is Jealous of Me.

[Astimegoeson]

I to often wonder if my W's motivation for this guy wasn't triggered by a need to "fix, nurture, and/or reform" him. She's always had a nurturing characteristic about her that I regrettable rejected most of the time. I never cared for the motherly fussing or worrying she would do over me.
I would always tell her "don't worry about it", I'll take care of it, or I'm OK, don't fuss".

In retrospect, I think it was her emotional need to do this for me. She wasn't feeling needed or wanted by me, but I just didn't see it. I always thought it was my job to take care of her and leave my needs for last. I didn't open up to her as deeply as I should have. It was a mistake to not reveal my vulnerability to her. I was always very independent and was the more dominate in our relationship. I didn't maker her the needed and wanted partner she desired. I remember once telling her in a argument that I loved her, but didn't need her. She replied.. "It's true you don't need anyone, including me".... Ouch! I regret saying that in so many ways because I believe she took it the wrong way. Since then, I've learned to become much more eloquent with expressing my thoughts.

Now, this OM offers her all the wanting and neediness she can handle. Early on when I discovered one of his notes to her, it oozed with neediness and coerced sympathy.....

"Oh, the loneliness of this place is only suppressed by the image of your beautiful face and sympathetic words of encouragement".

"knowing we will be together someday gives me the strength to survive another day of this depressing existence"

etc, etc, etc, (BARF, BARF, BARF)...

He's playing on her sympathy and need to nurture like nobody's business. It's pathetic, it's so scripted and fake, yet she can't see it. He knows what he's doing and has plenty of time on his hands to do it. He's probably reading every Romance novel his jail boyfriend (Bubba) loans him.

OK, enough of this rant, you get my meaning. I know I have many of the characteristics she loves, but there were some emotional needs of hers I didn't pick up on until it was to late. I doubt it's possible to be the total package. She often tells me she wishes she could take some characteristics from me and some from om and combine them into one Man. I jokingly told her I hope she spears this "Stepford" designed Man om's looks. She didn't like that comment because she knows he's butt ugly.