I was the one who was kissed him, hugged him, cuddle up to him. Had I not taken those steps I dont' think we'd be were we are now (a MUCH much better place). I think I remember you saying he didn't feel confortable w your touch, how does he feel about it now?can you start initiating affection?
You remember right yes. Now H is fine kissing me on the lips (a peck not proper kiss) and cuddles me in bed and he doesn't mind me kissing him say on the shoulder when I'm next to him. I can't initiate anything else though. This morning I tried to kiss H properly as he did briefly kiss me like that the other day. He said it made him feel pressured.
I can see where you're coming from with brain path thing. I have already done something similar myself I think because I no longer think about the W H works with who he texts. It no longer bothers me at all like it did when he first moved back in.
I guess what it really boils down to is that I'm scared of accepting the sitch as it is and being happy and then getting another bomb dropped on me because H can't sort his head out to ML to me. It nearly killed me last time and I don't want to go through it again - I can't. I think that is why I want to know what H's problem is and know it is sortable. H is quite happy to just see how things go and then end it if he can't sort his head out. He says he doesn't want it to end but there is no commitment there. No commitment to do whatever it takes to make it work (ie C or just stepping out of his comfort zone bit by bit).
Also what did you do about saying ILY? I thought we were in a place where I could say it but I said it to H last night and he responded angrilly saying I thought we both loved each other. When I asked what he meant by that he said he felt like I'd only said it to pressure him into saying it back to me!!!! I was really shocked by his response.
