lots to think about. A quick note though, H gets that I will need sunshine injections frequently and he says we can keep the house we have here. I don't know if that means renting it out or what, and whether that depends on making the gazillion dollars he thinks. His numbers on salary MAY be correct ultimately but in the meantime i have financial concerns for the first time in years....His one comment re: career that I wish he'd said earlier, like 5 years earlier, was that he feels he cannot do his profession (the way it was before this last specialty training) many more years b/c it is very demanding and takes full concentration for maybe 10-12 hours a day in the operating room. So, he wanted something he could do into his 60's and still enjoy it AND more importantly, he wanted an ownership dimension to it so that even when he retires, he'd still be earning something from the clinic since he'd be a part owner.....so that makes sense. I didn't know how much fear of aging and its' effect on his career he had. It isn't unreasonable. What I dislike is that I saw no real attempt to find something similar elsewhere.
As soon as H took the boards, he text messaged me that day, to ask me to join him and said he "misses" us, etc. Like he looked around after finishing the test and said, "ooops, where is everybody?" I knew he was depressed as his 50th b-day approached, and couldn't get time off to visit. So I went up and surprised him, and he was really moved and it was a nice experience. Maybe b/c I chose to do it without pressure and just out of love, it felt fine to me. Strangely, my secret spy mole did not pick me up at the airport. Imagine my surprise when Hero #1 and his wife were there to greet me, and begin the conversion/sales pitch. I tried to be open. IF I understood them correctly, they want me to either be their general counself or their CEO and lobbyist, which would take me a decade to get here where I live now. Part of me finds that really appealing and smart. The totally different part of me is directing a show now that my d17 is in and I seem to have some talent for, and wth does that have to do with a real job? Who knows? One fantasy I have is opening a theater up there b/c they need it so much. But I have no idea how realistic or desparate that is.
Anyhow, Until I went up there and the heroes "urged" me to join them professionally ( it was the most any potential employer has ever pursued me, by far, but of course, nothing in writing so far....) I know H had mentioned looking elsewhere someday. He kept saying, "are you ever coming here? Are you even open to it?", etc. But once they said there'd be something for me there, H has fixated on it.
Look, I don't want to be irrational about it. But I need an honest promise that we will leave that place in a specified amount of time, if one of us wants out...even if he still loves it and even if "the streets are paved with gold."
I might do something else that sounds gross to me right now. That would be to get a post-nup written up that says if we do D in the next 30 months or so, that this state's laws would apply b/c Alaska law sucks for me re: custody and I'd be stuck there until d9 turns 18. THAT would be hell b/c the M would have ended AND I'd be imprisoned in the tundra...not sure how to present that to H without sounding just a tad distrustful...LOTS to think about. Your ??'s help. -
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
