how to keep calm and patient??

[cat03]

haven't checked on you for a while gal, I'm sorry things aren't doing so well and that you feel down.
As far as affection, my H had none for me when he came back last April, no hugs no kisses and we only ML if I initiated, I think he reciprocated in that matter just so I wouldn't feel bad, even when we did, there were no caresses, not much warmth.
It only started to get better after Sept or October, about 5mths after he came back.

I was the one who was kissed him, hugged him, cuddle up to him. Had I not taken those steps I dont' think we'd be were we are now (a MUCH much better place). I think I remember you saying he didn't feel confortable w your touch, how does he feel about it now?can you start initiating affection?

I think you can still be in charge of your happiness with no money and w/him around, I know it is hard, but you must carve a new brain path in you, right now you are in self-defeating mode, so your thoughts naturally will take a somber tone. You CAN change that, you can teach your brain to stop focusing on what your H doesn't give you and start to find things that make you feel happy until your H finds himself. Life is what you make of it, decide to be happy and to enjoy what R you have with your H.

I have stopped going down the A and ow path and you know what? I never thought I'd won that battle w/my brain, I always thought I'd be thinking of it 24/7, though some passing thought always comes up every day, it is very small, very fleating and devoid of hurt, God won that battle for me. So can you, I know what it is to have a 2yr old, I used to fret about mine way too much. Give yourself time without him.

Go out for a cup of coffe w/a friend, go see a chick-flick w/a female group of friends/family, join a reading club, libraries are full of programs (from hobbies to group discussions) that cost little or nothing. You must have time alone, I have 2 kids, so it is much harder to do things, but I still find time to do a few things every few weeks that are only for me.