Sex Drive and Life Style

[MJontheMend]

That being said, Ive 'biten' and had a great reaction, and Ive 'biten' and had a bad reaction. I dont really care. I dont have to do it, I just like to check out the reaction. Either way, it doesnt matter to me.

Well, I've gotten good and bad reactions to the occasional nip at a bicep that I've taken also. Really, I don't actually bite, more like just testing the muscle with my teeth for throwdown potential. Obviously, I don't HAVE to do it but I really WANT to sometimes. The reaction I would PREFER would be for the guy to pin me down with those muscles and do something similarly aggressive and animalistic to some part of my body. But it's not a big deal if I don't get that reaction. If the guy remains rather passive I would just usually take the tone down a notch and maybe switch to doing something like kissing his neck or licking his nipple. I'm flexible. I like it slow and easy too.

Who does a man tell the differance and more importantly how does he make her feel safe enough to go there with him?

How the f*ck would I know? If a guy is doing something to me that I don't like I tell him or make the necessary shift or non-verbal communication. That's part of being sexually mature. I also freely indicate when I would like something to continue or if I haven't achieved orgasm if it isn't really obvious. Any woman who can't come right out and say "Finish me off baby" with a smile is not a sexually mature woman IMHO. Why should the man have to take on all that responsibility? I mean sometimes you can tell that the man wants the responsibility like he wants to know that he made you orgasm and I like to sort of relax into that too but to just lie there like a cold unresponsive chicken-sh*tted fish and make the guy do all the work, I just don't get it.

Okay end of tirade. I will try to imagine a man doing something so extremely kinky that it would make me feel unsafe. What could he do to make me feel safer? Well, he could set up things beforehand in a way that made me feel cared for. Get me feeling all warm before he whipped out whatever freaky thing he had in mind. Also, in my experience, it is helpful to me to have some time to think about something beforehand and also it is helpful to know what about the fantasy or behavior makes the guy feel aroused when he thinks about it. It is helpful to have an answer to the question "Why would anyone want to do that?". For instance, let's say a guy wanted to use a giant dildo on me while he jacked off and I didn't get it. If he were to say "It makes me feel like I have a giant cock when I do it." I would be able to get into the groove much better. I would understand my role and be able to find the source of my arousal. ( I should note that this isn't at all a scary scenario to me. I just don't want to shock the audience with anything scarier.)

I appreciate where you are going with this. The whole post gave me a flicker of hope. If your trying to help me with my issues, thank you, much appreciated, I agree wholeheartedly with you. Whoever originally we were not talking about sex specifically. so Its really a irrelevant point. We were talking about attractive masculinity in general. If you arent attractive you cant appeal to the woman.

You're welcome. Well, it's a two way street. There are some men that I find immediately masculine and attractive and other men grow on me in that way. Because I am HD I WANT to find the masculinity in the man that I'm with. I seek it out and encourage it. Though sometimes I f*ck up in this regard, obviously, it is NEVER my intention.I don't think that there is a HDM on this BB that I wouldn't end up having regular sex with if we were stranded on a desert island. If knowing that is insulting to the man I'm actually with, tough noogies. Grow up. If you want a woman with a sex drive of her own, don't expect her to pretend like she got it from you.

This is exactly the verbal exchange x and I had that invalidated her. the specifics are the differant but its exactly the same. she was seeking trust and I wouldnt give it. She didnt get over it. I wanted reality and she wanted lala land. she felt hopeless. (severe invalidation)
If I didnt trust her there was no point. I believed one thing, she didnt want me too, I did anyways, ....and so she proved me right.

I'm sorry I don't understand this. You will have to be more specific.

I dont know how you come off, IRL, but sometimes you come off here, as just wanting sex for sex. I understand, nothing wrong with that. but that could make your H feel insignificant, if its chronic and you make verbal remarks in that same vein.

First off give me some credit for being a generally courteous person and in particular a courteous lover. I compliment my H on what I do appreciate about his specific sexuality quite frequently and I don't say things like "Time to give Mojo a c*ck ride." unless I think they will be appreciated in the humorous vein in which they are offered. If he can't accept the fact that I do in fact want sex for the sake of sex fairly frequently then that is HIS problem. It doesn't have to be mine. Really. I think that pretty much sums up the whole Schnarchian philosophy.

While I dont think cemar would choose pickle making, Im sure he knows exactly what you mean.

If you are trying to insult me by comparing me to CeMar it won't work. I love the guy to death. I would hug him like a ragtag teddy bear if I could.