HB, Your feelings are completely normal. This is a horrible roller coaster ride. You go between love and hate and will continue to do that. Just don't do or say anything drastic right now. You did the right thing by leaving the door open.
Have you figured out what needs this OW is satisfying for him? Is there a way that you can start to meet any of those needs? Has he given you any information on why the A so that you can focus on doing 180's in those areas? I'm no expert but I'm not so sure it's time for LRT yet. Hang in there...Get a strategy together.
I also know what you mean about wanting to fall asleep next to your H despite what is happening. Mine sleeps mostly in the guest room as well and it is heartbreaking.
