Sex Drive and Life Style

[MJontheMend]

Let me get this straight... You want to work more to earn more money, you do most of the house work, all the yard work, cook dinner, and all this for the unbeleivable price of humping your brains our every few days? Have I got that right? Well all I have to say is.... will you marry me!!! Please!!!

Here are the exact terms of the contract:

Financial/Housework: I will contribute 40% of the current U.S median household income to the general household fund. In addition I will do all of the housework at the level dictated by FlyLady.com.. (Kitchen sink empty and shiny at all times,homemade dinner 6 nights a week, house tidied daily, load of laundry done daily, weekly general cleaning, shopping,etc.etc.) Any funds that I earn beyond that level will be mine to spend on my own lifestyle choices which may or may not benefit you. (For example I may choose to buy matching leather chairs for the den or I may choose to take a solo trip to tour the gardens of England). Any boring type maintenance yard work such as mowing or shoveling will be your responsibility to do or pay for out of your own funds. I will maintain the garden. Household repairs will be divided on a 50/50 basis with each of us either contributing cash or labor or both to the endeavor (I do not do any work that involves being more than 5 ft. off the ground.).

Children/Pets/Extended Family/Friends:

You have yours and I have mine in terms of finances. I would expect mine to be treated with respect and appropriate affection and would do the same for yours. I would expect to be supported 50% in any mutual endeavor such as throwing a 4th of July party for the gang or buying Xmas presents for the grandchildren.

Companionship:

Once a week we will have a date night. We will switch off choosing the activity (Be aware that I enjoy musical theater.). Whoever picks the activity will pay for the activity (Be aware that I am cheap). In addition we will take at least one vacation together each year which we will switch off on choosing (Once again the picker will pay. Expect to spend time in hostels eating cheap native grub or in a tent in a national park on the years I am paying).

Sex/Sexiness:

We will have sex 3x a week unless one of us is unavailable for the same sort of reason that would excuse a child from attending school such as death in the family or vomiting. One time will be your pick in terms of when, style, fantasy, what I wear etc. One time will be mine. The third time will be a mutually agreed upon standard or favorite. In terms of sexiness I will maintain my weight below the top level of the healthy range as dictated by the Surgeon General (that is the best I can guarantee but I might do better)and spend at least 3.5 hours a week working out. In addition I will spend 2 hours a week worth of my time and/or income improving my appearance in other ways such as getting my hair done, putting on fresh makeup before you arrive home, browsing the Victoria's Secret Catalogue etc. What I will expect from you is maintenance of arm musculature, general hygiene, maintenance of general physical fitness to the extent to have a certain amount of "throwdown" strength and endurance and a generally manly presence and a willingness to see your physician for a prescription of Viagra if necessary.