Been a little lost for a while. Life is difficult right now but W is growing and doing the work.
It sounds like you have found the right direction to go. It also sounds like your W is willing to fill it the gaps when you check out. Come on man, you are the rock star here, you know whats up. You know what to focus on, and how to do it. Pick your @$$ up and keep walking forward, you know you can do it. The making her happy stuff is great true, but I look at it and take it as far as how to act in my everyday life, there are somethings in the newsletters I would never do in any R, happy or not. You have to pick and choose what you emulate from there, or these boards, in books or anything. The fact doesn't change though, she married Frank. It's OK to be a giver and a fixer I don't think that she is going to be the type of person that lets you control her, not that you would want to, but it is easy to fall into..... I was there and you are right, it is easy to lose yourself... But only if you let yourself, or you let your partner.
I don't care what you think, as long as it's about me.
I posted a new thread, that has all my history in it. See my signature at the bottom. I hope that will help those who want to find my story so they can compare notes.
Frank, I see you post quite often about being the alpa male, being the man, and the discussion now on the thread in Newcomers.
I'd like to ask about the alpha male role and how it fits or coincides with an alpa female role. I don't want to lead, and I don't want to walk behind. Personally, I would prefer to take responsibility equally and shoulder to shoulder work thru life. That isn't always possible, sometimes someone needs to lead when they are more qualified. There are many times when H is the qualified person to take the lead, but he doesn't and I flounder around trying to 'get it done'. I have realized (duh) that I can be too quick to interject my opinion when he does lead, and I think I've gotten better at listening rather than trying to prove myself to him.
Question is - what would you suggest for a stong willed (bullheaded) woman to let or get her H to step out front and be the leader he used to be for the M and still is in many other areas of his life?
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.
Question is - what would you suggest for a stong willed (bullheaded) woman to let or get her H to step out front and be the leader he used to be for the M and still is in many other areas of his life?
I think you have a great question. One of the things I have come to understand about being 'Alpha Male' from the various sources I've read is that it doesn't mean 'be a boss' or 'treat women badly'.
It means 'get your act together and take charge of your life'. And the knowledge that women LIKE men who are that way.
If he is not in that place, then it makes it harder for you to be supportive of him.
I'm not really sure what the answer is. Let me think on it and then I'll post.
I just dropped by to let you know I am slowly working through your story. I am half way through slow walk home 3 and have been reading off and on for the last few days.
I just want to say thank you for posting such an honest journal so those of us that follow can gain comfort in that people like you have walked this path ahead of us.
