Can anyone let me know what helped them days after the affair?
All I can tell you is what didn't work for me, and that was the ranting and the hassling him about wanting details. H had already moved out several months before, and told me about OW via email. The only contact I've had from him since is one angry txt message telling me to leave him alone and get on with my life because our M is over, and one letter from his lawyer about a property settlement. After the emotional way I reacted to him telling me about OW, he just doesn't want any contact with me at all. It's been almost a whole month since I had contact with him.
In your case, I gather your H is still at home, so make the most of that by cutting out the begging and the ranting. God knows that I know how impossible that is, but if you don't really try, you'll just push him further away.
I know that right now you feel like you couldn't possibly ever feel any worse. Take it from someone who's living it - if it gets to the point where your behaviour makes him feel like he can't have any contact with you at all, that does feel worse.
So do your damnedest to be a good DBer right now and make the most of your crappy sitch. If you don't put in the effort, then it's pretty much a guarantee that things will just end up getting worse.
Me:30 H:30 Together:10yr H left:Oct3'06,couple weeks before 5th wed anniv. No Kids OW bomb:Jan19'07 My thread: He filed.
