When h was on ow 1 or 2 he told me that his mother knew. I believed him so I phoned her. She told me that she did not know. We had a long talk about everything. She told me that she did not recognize her own son either. She told me to d him and he would have to accept the consequences. So then h begins his touch and go reconnect for about 6 months. At Christmas mil says she does not want me at her house because I confronted her.
Now h is on ow 3. I never thought fil would accept her because when his cousin's wife died his cousin remarried and fil did not agree with that.
So when I found out that h brought ow to meet his parents well his mother told me what I told you and that they liked her and that I was not the dil for them. Mil is not a warm person but I made sure that we remembered birthdays and saw them as often as they wanted. I even made the effort after h left.
When fil passed away it seemed that his whole family accepted ow and I felt like an outsider. All these people were at out wedding. Only his cousin that remarried after his wife died was supportive of me. Even his aunt who was left for another woman comforted ow.
So I know exactly what you mean. If h comes home I don't know if I will be able to just resume that part of our lives. I don't know how to face mil unless she gives me some kind of apology but I really doubt she will. I will have to put a lot of space between all this and a new life with h.
I wish I could understand too how all this works. These moms refuse to beleive that anything could be wrong with their sons. I am sure they know that they did something wrong when they raised them but cannot admit it. But the whole process would be so much easier if they would try to understand and admit their own mistakes. Working this all out together would be the best solution for all.
I guess being the LBSs we know how to admit when we screwed up and cannot understand how others just sweep things under the carpet.
I know I can have some sympathy for h because of his mlc but I too cannot understand others who know and see there is something wrong but will not acknowledge it. I find it interesting that they would rather believe that their son, brother, etc could be so cruel and so hurtful instead of believe that something could be wrong with them and they need help.
I am in the same boat as you are with forgiveness. I do try to forgive her but as you say it is so difficult.
I really do admire you Faith. I always wanted more children and h and I no trouble getting pregnant and I had no trouble carrying or delivering but it is not meant to be for me and sometimes I have trouble forgiving h for this.
