she does not want to have another discussion with H about their R. When we announced to the kids 20 some months ago that their H was going away for one year of training (still denied Alaska as ultimate goal, and maybe it wasn't a sure thing then anyhow) she really spoke well.
She said several clear things, such as "So you are saying that your career is more important than your family?" H was silent, btw. She also said, "Why are you doing things that are dealbreakers for mom?"
He babbled about opportunity and "cutting edge" of his field and life style improvement (ironic as hell) and blah blah blah.
I asked her recently about talking with him since our R is better. She said, "I like that I don't care much anymore, b/c it doesn't hurt so much."
What can you say to that? Ouch. I am so sorry. I do think H is getting the slow SLOW realization that taking a nice trip with her, giving her a car or whatever else he plans, will not make up for missing the last 2 years of her at home. I feel lucky to tell you the truth.
Much luckier than him, really. Even with M success, which I more or less think will happen, his R's with the older ones will likely never be the same again.
Isn't that a sad thing? Even with a "happy outcome" as far as our M, he has done damage that only parental absence or neglect does to kids. But then, kids do forgive as I did my father and he was a mean drunk/PhD/lawyer famous in his field but a tyrant at home. I "got" him later on in life, shortly before his death and I do have some good memories. So, kids do take a lot and really strive to find the good in their parents. There is much to be found in their father, deep down. But I will never understand his choices of the past 2 years, I fear. I would like to understand but it may be beyond me.
Some things are not meant for us to know while down here perhaps. That's why it's called faith I guess. j-
M: 57 H: 60 M: 35 yrs S30,D28,D19 H off to Alaska 2006 Recon 7/07- 8/08 *2016* X = "ALASKA 2.0" GROUND HOG DAY I File D 10/16 OW DIV 2/26/2018 X marries OW 5/2016
