Last thread was here. The new title is all about the living dead who walk through the world, looking to better their lives, and to EAT YOUR BRAINS.
Actually, I just needed a place to continue my story.
The good news: some nice discussions about our house, why she wants to continue living here, rather than move to the country or some other house, and, incidentally, why she does, indeed, see us growing old together (something she doesn't acknowledge very often)
The bad news: I haven't done the "I want to ML with you once a week" in about three days. Tonight is the one week anniversary of me saying it the first time. I think I'll just say, "it's been about a week since I mentioned it, so I just want to reiterate, IWTMLWYOAW"
I'm off to take my DD5 to some fun stuff on this President's Day, since we're both off work/school.
"it's been about a week since I mentioned it, so I just want to reiterate, IWTMLWYOAW"
I would advise against adding anything to the original statement. Look at the impact that will have: it will make it look like a "strategy"; it will make it obvious that you're keeping score, looking at the clock/calendar; anything extra that you add to the simple statement will give her something to react to. IMHO you must simply state the want itself-- the want is the thing that does not need explanation, defense, justification, etc.
I can just hear her: "So, now you're counting the days between the times you bring up this ridiculous notion of yours? And now you're 'reiterating,' are you? Don't you know that 'reiterate' is basically a redundant word and useless in modern conversation? 'Iterate' means to repeat, so 'reiterate' has no meaning. Stop using words like that with me. It's just another way the patriarchy has of justifying its lustful and dirty needs and wants. You men and your filthy desires are all alike!"
No, no, no, grasshopper... stick with the original zen-like purity of your simple want, stated simply.
And although it is a challenge to you, it is important to say this every day... doesn't have to be twice a day... once is good. But it is Chinese water torture... the main purpose of the exercise may very well be to wear YOU down, to wear down YOUR aversion to stating your want.
It's just difficult to state this without what my boss calls "a running start." He uses this to describe the use of extra words at the beginning of a sentence, e.g., "Having said that, one must then proceed to..." or "As a matter of fact..." etc.
So, you want me to turn to her, without any context, without responding to anything she has said or done and just state, "I want to make love to you once a week."
Hdog and Ms.Hdog, watching "Grey's Anatomy". Hdog picks up the remote (they, of course, have a DVR, which creates a strange anticipation of being able to pause, fast forward, and rewind everything in one's world), and pushes "pause". Ms.Hdog turns to him, with a questioning look on her face. Hdog: I want to make love with you once a week. He pushes "play", sets the remote back down, sits back, and watches the rest of the episode.
See what I mean? It's just awkward.
If there's no other way to do it, I'll endure. I agree with you, in retrospect, about my earlier post.
Oh, and I knew that about "reiterate."
You know her too well. Your dialogue, even though you're trying to funny, is just plain creepy.
I think that instead of saying "I want to make love with you once a week." you should say "I'm ordering you some "Naughty Butt Nice" panties from the Mojo's Secret Catalogue for when we have sex this Saturday. Would you prefer those in Orgasm Flush Pink or Bite Me Red?
"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?" - Mary Oliver
HD, don't make me get all nit-picky on you... it's just that the preamble you proposed sounded very apologetic... "Well (digging toe in ground), I realize it's been a week since I bothered you with this... but here goes and please don't get mad..." KWIM?
So what if it's awkward. What's more painful... a second or two of awkwardness or giving your W enough words to tongue-lash you with? Awkward-shmawkward. No one ever died of awkwardness.
How did you do it the first time you made the statement? Was there a preamble then? An appropriate preamble during Grey's Anatomy might be to wait for a sexy scene and then say, "That reminds me: I want to ML with you once a week."
Just bear in mind that ANYTHING you tack on in the way of disclaimers, prefaces, frills, addons, will just give her something to attach to... like a barnacle or an oyster.
Go back and read the dialogue you wrote about the first time you made The Statement. And the posts right after that. They were brilliant. Gichyseff in that frame of mind again.
Re: iterate/reiterate-- I was just grasping at something I could faux-bitch about. Not a big issue. But it does illustrate that she can/will make a mountain out of any molehill.
Burg, please explain to me the proper use of "begs the question." In the Catholic high school of my youth, we took an honest-to-goodness course in Logic. Converse, obverse, contra-positive...I remember the terms but don't remember what they mean. And I remember "begging the question" was one of the logical fallacies, like "ad hominem," and "post hoc ergo propter hoc." But I can't remember exactly what it is.
I know I could look it up on the internet, but I'd much rather hear your explanation.
Agree that "iterate" is very computer science-y (computeresque?).
Personally I think you SHOULD chose an awkward time. Make that your thing, choosing an awkward time to iterate/reiterate your new mantra (well except when the kids are around). It might make her "do you" just to get you to shut up in the middle of the restaurant, or at the PTA meeting, how about church (well maybe that's going a little too far).
I don't think there is anything wrong in throwing her off balance. It will cause a shift in her thinking by breaking your pattern of certainty, and causing her to start having to "read" you. I can't see that as all bad. Anyway, if its uncomfortable for you, just think how she will feel the next time you pop it on her in front of ... hmmm let's see... well, there's Easter coming up....
The awkward-er the better, as long as it's private, so she can't play the "you're trying to humiliate/embarrass me in public" card. Breaking the pattern, hd, hers AND yours.
