Harmonic Divergence

[Lord Grenville]

Do you think I should push for an immediate separation if she is not clearly ending the affair?

What is your purpose, to cut off your nose to spite your face? This is going down the path of vengeance

Thanks Chromosphere and Cobra for pointing out my flawed thinking. This just goes to show how unclear my thought process is right now.

I guess I might need to rephrase the question. For several weeks now, my wife has been expressing the need to be on her own for awhile. To get an apartment and "figure out what she wants in life". Of course, I see that pondering as including "who she wants in her life" too. I would prefer that she not choose a separation, but my current messed up thinking is going something like this:

If I ask for an immediate separation in two days, (rather than having her take weeks or months contemplating when and where) might she fear that she is about to lose everything we've shared for 20 years and be more motivated to end the affair? Or will it push her to her OM for comfort? That is the question that only my W could decide.

If she does want to separate, then maybe a contract separation with time for us to carefully craft an understanding is a better choice.

I think you might be on to something about me not being more jealousyly outraged. I have for too long taken my wife for granted because I assumed the vows we exchanged were a guarantee that she would always be my side. Naive to the extreme - I know.

Perhaps I do need to show more competitve zeal, in fighting to keep her. I'll stay off the soy products and sharpen my foils with aplomb.